Racing down the aisle...Literally!

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and i thought to write down my thoughts on our conversation. The conversation was about relationships and marriages. This tends to be a recurring topic and i totally understand as people are getting to the age where they've actively started thinking about the future. The topic  was..how long should people date before they get married?. We had different opinions about this but one thing that really stood out to me was when she said 'if you have found the one you are supposed to be with then why wait?'.. funny enough i always see this statement in the comment section of a lot of blogs which obviously means a lot of women feel this way.

I say, if you have REALLY found the one then what the heck are you rushing for? you might as well do a 100 meter race down the aisle if you are in such a hurry. I think people see marriage as part of a 'to do list' and they really need to tick that box fast before losing all their chances of finding a husband. Is there not more to life than racing down the aisle? why cant women enjoy the journey of a relationship? why cant they savor each stage..and grow in complete harmony with their spouse? whats the rush for? i do realize that you can never really know a person completely but i also know that once you know the core qualities of your partner then that's a solid foundation as often, the core hardly changes..its the attributes surrounding the core that changes with time, circumstances, age etc. what i realize is a lot of people hardly learn the core qualities of their partner..they are too caught up with whats on the surface which sadly, is more susceptible to change. People rarely change their core and that's what makes them who they are. That is why i do not believe people change (the core not the surface), unless of course by divine intervention.

 Let me explain this further using very simplified Virology . The flu virus for example  has a core and an envelope. on the surface of the envelope it has receptors that bind to its host and that's how it gets into the system to cause infection. The reason people get flu all the time even though they may have had the infection before or they may have had a flu jab is because the virus always changes its surface antigens. it changes it because it doesn't want your immune system to recognize it and get rid of it so its a different infection each time because of the new surface. The core however which contains RNA does not change.This is what helps the virus multiply in your cell. this is important for its survival so therefore its impossible for you to see this organism swap its RNA. That's the way i see humans. Their core is who they are and who they are used to being and 'change', albeit possible in rare cases, would be very difficult.

The point of all this is when you rush into a marriage its impossible for you to ascertain an individuals core attributes or values. If you ignore the core and concentrate on whats on the outside alone eg good job, house, car, degree, social status, family name e.t.c then you are in for a long ride. I think its better to use the time you date/court to learn your partners core because if both core attributes clash, it will be very difficult to have a successful relationship.

But hey, you don't  have to listen to a virus obsessed individual...just take a look at current divorce rates amongst young people in Nigeria and perhaps that will do the trick :)