Monday, 4 February 2013

All about the Clique


I have a hypothesis that i am willing to share. Like i have stated, it is a hypothesis which means its by no means a fact and so people need to bear that in mind before reading on. It is however something i believe in hence my opinion. Its about girls that are a part of a clique especially those that have been in a clique since secondary school. People that are in a clique do not often have a mind of their own. they spend their time thinking of what others think of them and their actions are often centred around doing things deemed acceptable by the clique.

The problem with being in a clique is it does not allow you have your own identity. You basically do things your other mates are doing except of course you are the queen bee, which means you set the rules for the other girls to follow. These kind of girls are clones of each other in so many ways. They have the same opinions, values, e.t.c When they are in a relationship with a boyfriend, its never dating one person but the whole crew. There is no privacy here as relationship advice (solicited /unsolicited)  come from her mates and a lot of the time she does what her friends tell her to do which may not always be a good thing. Sadly, this type of behaviour could carry on even in old age.

The bit that is very destructive is when envy or  jealousy kicks in which usually does. These girls bitch behind each others backs and majority of the time, these friendships are very pretentious. They know this but feel the need to stick with each other to face the world...which i think shines light on their insecurities. Having a successful relationship when you are very cliquey is a bit of a challenge..and when you manage to have one, it is often very difficult for the other party involved.

The interesting thing about all this is the competition. It never stops. The competition spans all facets of life..from university to the married home..from the choices of schools your kids/future kids attend to if/where you holiday in the summer. This type of pressure surely must be daunting. It would be interesting to do a lifetime analysis on these women to see how they fair.

This of course, doesnt mean that if a woman wasnt part of a clique that she will have an identity. But, more often, if a woman spends a lot of time with herself then theres a lot of time for reflection and all. if she decides to do things her own way and makes her own mistakes and learns from it, she is more likely to learn more about herself as oppose to if her judgement is clouded all the time by the constant chatter of her ever growing circle. Just a thought.

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