Love is....

.....when he writes you a letter and sends it in the post..in the age of blackberry, twitter, facebook, instagram, skype and all other ways of communicating. Love is also...when that letter expresses true..deep and intense feelings...sealed with a traditional candle wax seal :)

Bisous

"I want painful... difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love."

After watching this episode of scandal it immediately sank in that some women really do not want normalcy. For them normalcy is boring and quite frankly, i can understand that. Women like olivia pope want a love that is very strong, pure and true. A love that is independent of societal norms or peoples perception. A love that is exciting, passionate, life changing, and probably unpredictable. I get that part. The only bit that confuses me is 'painful and devastating' love. Why would anyone want that? Love is not supposed to hurt. It isnt.



What would you do if you had the power, and career she had? Would you choose painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love? xoxo

Good Girl, Bad Girl

Does being a good girl mean anything in the world we live in today? This question has been ringing in my head for a very long time especially as it always seems the bad girls get it all. You know, the ones that cheat their way through life, the ones that are calculating and conniving, the ones that care less for morals or integrity, the ones that fake it, slander, lie, back stab, sleep around, hurt people, mean, uncouth.You get my point. It seems our world today is full of such people and all of a sudden being a good person seems like an alien concept.

I hear comments like 'oh dear, how come she is getting married when she was a proper baddie in school'..This seems to be the norm though. You know, bad girls get hitched quicker than good  girls. Perhaps its something to do with the skills she garnered whilst jumping from bed to bed? ...now she knows how to sweep a man off his feet. these things require skills you see. I think girls like this learn faster than the good ones..on what a man wants and how to please him...and what to do to get a man where she wants him. I dont have the answers to this but i find it very intriguing.

Men apparently want 'a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets'. I guess good girls are in trouble in this department unless of course there is a genetic predisposition to being freaky which i highly doubt (PhD thesis anyone?). Some men believe they can bring 'the freak' out of a woman..Well goodluck with that. I say if she hasnt had a lot of experiences then that might be a tough one and you may need A LOT of time and practice.

'A lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets'...errr...how exactly is this transition supposed to rapidly occur if the woman in question is a virgin or hasn't had a lot of sexual encounters? lets be realistic..you dont just go from Mary Magdalene to Madonna in one second. Sentences like this makes me believe that deep down, men do not want a good girl..They want a bad girl who pretends to be good. 

 How's that for a monday morning rant? Lol

All about the Clique

I have a hypothesis that i am willing to share. Like i have stated, it is a hypothesis which means its by no means a fact and so people need to bear that in mind before reading on. It is however something i believe in hence my opinion. Its about girls that are a part of a clique especially those that have been in a clique since secondary school. People that are in a clique do not often have a mind of their own. they spend their time thinking of what others think of them and their actions are often centred around doing things deemed acceptable by the clique.

The problem with being in a clique is it does not allow you have your own identity. You basically do things your other mates are doing except of course you are the queen bee, which means you set the rules for the other girls to follow. These kind of girls are clones of each other in so many ways. They have the same opinions, values, e.t.c When they are in a relationship with a boyfriend, its never dating one person but the whole crew. There is no privacy here as relationship advice (solicited /unsolicited)  come from her mates and a lot of the time she does what her friends tell her to do which may not always be a good thing. Sadly, this type of behaviour could carry on even in old age.

The bit that is very destructive is when envy or  jealousy kicks in which usually does. These girls bitch behind each others backs and majority of the time, these friendships are very pretentious. They know this but feel the need to stick with each other to face the world...which i think shines light on their insecurities. Having a successful relationship when you are very cliquey is a bit of a challenge..and when you manage to have one, it is often very difficult for the other party involved.

The interesting thing about all this is the competition. It never stops. The competition spans all facets of life..from university to the married home..from the choices of schools your kids/future kids attend to if/where you holiday in the summer. This type of pressure surely must be daunting. It would be interesting to do a lifetime analysis on these women to see how they fair.

This of course, doesnt mean that if a woman wasnt part of a clique that she will have an identity. But, more often, if a woman spends a lot of time with herself then theres a lot of time for reflection and all. if she decides to do things her own way and makes her own mistakes and learns from it, she is more likely to learn more about herself as oppose to if her judgement is clouded all the time by the constant chatter of her ever growing circle. Just a thought.

For the love of Antiques

I found a treasure trove today where old books are collected and given for free. I was very shocked to find out such stores exist but mega excited at the same time. The store is part of the healthy planet organisation. This organisation stores books that charity shops, libraries and publishers don't have space for. They give away these books for free to people in the community via nationwide stores. I bought the Grosvenor house antiques fair book showcasing antiques from as far back as the 15th century. Each page had me drooling and this is arguably the best freebie i've ever had. You can check out their website here and locate your nearest book store.

This is an awesome way to take care of our environment and i hope you pop by a local store sometime.

Bisous.

Inspired by the 50's

Inspired by the 50's by glamscientist featuring blue cocktail dresses

Image crush: Vintage wedding

The best part of this image is the horse and carriage and then the 'tea' sign on the building. The wedding lace dress is to die for. Old architecture, tea, horse and carriage and lace...whats not to love?
Anyone who knows me knows that i am a die hard vintage lover. I am a lover of all things retro...the uniqueness, originality and the craftmanship. I honestly was born in the wrong decade.

Bisous Bisous

Inspiration

I live by this...its so me :) Life is too short not to be what you want to be.

The Right Shoes

Shoes are the most important fashion item. Without them, frankly outfits just look bleh. A lot of women don't  have very good taste in shoes and some have no clue what style of shoes go with what particular item of clothing. In my opinion, shoes make the outfit and if a lady does not get this right, she loses the look shes trying to go for..whatever that may be. I personally feel every woman should learn how to walk in heels. The switch from heels to flats or trainers during a red carpet event or other formal events like weddings is a huge turn off.

There are so many great inventions that exist to help you feel comfortable in those shoes and avoid problems like blisters. if all fails, go half a size up or get a lovely foot massage afterwards.That always helps :)

Fur Love

Now, before you get all up in arms about the nature of this post, I just want it to be very clear that I do not support the killing of any animals for their fur for shallow fashion reasons. Just to be clear,  this post is purely for inspiration only and not for any kind of platform for anti-fur or negative commentary.

          

If you do decide to wear fur PLEASE WEAR FAUX FUR or VINTAGE FUR

The English Nurse

I spent my whole day at the Hepatology Unit of the Royal free Hospital in Hampstead. If i had to rate hospitals in London this would be my best. There is something so different about this place..i cant seem to put a finger on it. I have been on numerous visits to what seems to be a million hospitals but i have never experienced the hard work the nurses do. I mean, i know what nurses do in theory but experiencing it today was a whole different thing. Nurses over here work so hard. They do all the dirty jobs doctors do not do and they are always so warm and pleasant whilst doing it.

The secondary care unit had a lot of patients who needed a lot of care and monitoring and quite frankly, i became exhausted just watching them do their job as its so demanding and challenging..but they did it with so much joy and a huge smile on their face all the time. I also cannot forget the burst of energy and sense of humour they all had. I think all nurses that work in secondary care units should be paid a lot of money and given bonuses for the amount of work they put it. My respect for nurses has tripled due to this experience and it is my hope that the general public give them the respect they deserve. In my opinion, they should be getting similar respect as some doctors do eg (GP's). Infact, i respect English nurses more than i do Nigerian doctors.  Id probably get a telling off for this but hey, after my experience today, this is my current standing.  All hail the English Nurse :)

Happy New Year

Here is hoping 2013 brings lots of happiness, laughter and light. I have never had any new year resolution list only because i do not believe any changes i want to make in my life has to start on the first day of a new year. If i feel its that serious, id get on with it whenever i feel a change is necessary. So, i wish everyone all the great things life has to offer...more opportunities, success, love and fulfillment :)

Have a lovely day

xoxo

You are what you read

I am an academic and so i often find ways to let my hair down and relax the use of my brain. Lately, i find myself visiting some blogs that frankly make me feel dumber once i go through the lot. It sounds weird i know but that's honestly the truth. Time goes by really quickly so i have decided not to waste any more time reading anything on any website that does not add to my knowledge or expand my horizon. Whats the point of knowing that kim kardashian is pregnant for kanye west if its actually not going to solve world hunger? Some peoples destiny is to revel in such information and perhaps make money from all of it. That's fine. I doubt that's what my path in life is supposed to be and so i have to put a stop to it. I have decided to stop visiting such websites and spend my free time doing more productive (lighter) things. I'd rather give my time caring for abandoned children than sit in front of my laptop reading irrelevant news. I do not want to wake up one day when i am 60 and realise i have not made any contribution to humanity.


xoxo

Fusing Disease Awareness with Entertainment

I think Philanthropy is a great thing but i do have my reservations when it comes to raising awareness of diseases e.g Cancer, HIV etc. There seems to be a trend in fusing entertainment to a cause to raise awareness of diseases. Not that i think this is a terrible idea, i just question the effectiveness. I understand that entertainment gets people to events and probably keeps them there in the hope they learn a thing or two about the disease in question. the problem i  have with this method is, after all the glitz, glam, red carpet and champagne are all gone, will the health message people are trying to pass across sink in? And if so, for how long?

I feel if you need to give people incentives to take care of their health or be aware of health issues that they may be susceptible to then there is absolutely no point. The way i see it, without good health, no one can achieve anything in this life and so this should be top priority for every individual..sadly this is not the reality as people often have poor health seeking behaviours.

Cancer and HIV for instance are serious diseases and if people feel they need fashion, music and any form of entertainment to face this reality, then perhaps as a society, we need to find other ways to effectively pass the messages across. I for one have been to one of such events and no one even spoke about the disease awareness bit after the 15 minute slide show presentation that literally made people snooze. People were more concerned about the Glitz and glam and of course the music and fashion show. I really dont think this is appropriate. if people are serious about their health, then events should be held specifically for disease awareness with no incentive to attend. That way one is sure that those in attendance are serious about learning and will definitely leave the event spreading awareness and making lifestyle changes.

I think this is important in the African continent as we are still faced with a double burden of infectious and communicable diseases, topped with HIV and lots of Injuries caused by accidents and natural disasters. We should be taking these things a bit more seriously. There's no point copying the west in the way they raise awareness, they are an advanced society that have appropriate preventative measures in place. Africa on the other hand can not boast of this. So if we must raise awareness, lets do just that.

Science Inspiration

Its really lovely to have women in science be a source of inspiration especially in Africa. I look forward to finding more women like this and i hope that one day i will be a source of inspiration to young women around the world :)

Professor Tebello Nyokong is a researcher of a ground-breaking cancer diagnosis and treatment.

Born in 1951 in Lesotho, this South African Professor has achieved international acclaim for her groundbreaking work in harnessing light for cancer therapy and environmental clean-ups. She is currently undertaking research on a new cancer diagnosis and treatment methodology called ‘photo-dynamic therapy’, which is intended as an alternative to chemotherapy.Through her international reputation, Professor Nyokong has contributed considerably to enhancing the reputation of South African science. Many international scientists have been drawn by her work to visit South Africa, and her laboratory has hosted postdoctoral candidates from around the world.

In 2009 Professor Nyokong won the Africa-Arab State L’Oréal-Unesco Award for Women in Science and was named by UNESCO as one of the world’s top five exceptional women scientists.In addition to working on photo-dynamic therapy, Professor Tebello Nyokong, continues to train chemists, particularly women, in the skills needed to keep South Africa at the cutting edge of scientific development.

“I work very hard and do not give up easily even when things are tough. I tend to take setbacks in my life as a way of working even harder. I actually get challenged by doing the ‘impossible.” 

xoxo